Forget Team Jacob or Team Edward, I am all for Team Eli, and this is why...

(this is a totally unrelated picture, but it is Eli all the same)
Once upon a time, there was a bus load of children being transported home after a long day of school. Eli, a highly excitable young boy, decided to lightly bite his friend Josh. The mentioned bite was all in fun, and did not hurt Josh physically, but there was a deep emotional injury that would arise. For Eli said that he was a vampire, and because of the bite, Josh would be turning into a vampire very soon.
That afternoon, Eli's family was not at home, due to various activities. When they arrived home, there were at least five messages from Josh. In each message, Josh was pleading with Eli to return his calls.
The next day, after school, the phone started ringing again. Josh wanted to talk to Eli, and they were allowed to talk. Of course, Eli's mother knew nothing of the "vampire bite," and Eli was not in close proximity to his mother while talking on the phone with Josh.
A couple of days went by with frequent phone calls from Josh, and Eli walking around with a mischievous grin. Sometime during this process, Eli's mother found out what was going on. Eli confessed to biting his friend and told of the story about his friend turning into a vampire. Eli also confessed that his friend was really concerned that he was turning into a vampire. The reason Josh was calling so often was to find out some of the symptoms of the vampire transformation. Josh would ask Eli if headaches, cramps, feeling a little sick, a sore throat, and various other winter-time ailments were symptoms of the change. Eli of course played along and told him they were all part of changing.
After several days of this charade, Eli's mother answered the telephone when Josh called. She spilled the beans. She told Josh that her son, Eli, was not a vampire and that he had been teasing Josh. She also told Josh that he had no need to worry, he was not turning into a vampire. Then she handed the phone to Eli and made him apologize, which he gladly did. Eli told Josh sorry about ten times and reassured him that he would not be turning into a vampire.
However, as Eli was getting ready to hang up, his mother heard him say, "I am not a vampire, I really am a werwolf." His mother glared at him with the look of death, and Eli quickly told his friend Josh that he was just kidding.